


That Which Remains Unsaid

by TinyDancingRavenclaw



Series: A Union of Radiance and Shadows is Never Simple [1]
Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls Online
Genre: F/M, Gen, Letter to Darien Gautier, Mentions of Gabrielle Benele, Minor Original Character(s), Mourning, No one else shows up but they are mentioned, Not Really Character Death, spoilers for main storyline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 22:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30045933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyDancingRavenclaw/pseuds/TinyDancingRavenclaw
Summary: Arielle expected to walk out of Coldharbour with fewer losses than they did. Gabrielle offers a new solution three years later.Or- in which the Vestige who reclaimed her soul is left in mourning and decides to actually take her friend’s advice and writes a letter detailing her thoughts. It wasn’t supposed to be meant for anyone, but it seems it’s addressed to Darien now.
Relationships: Darien Gautier/Female Vestige, Darien Gautier/Original Female Breton Character(s), Gabrielle Benele & Female Vestige
Series: A Union of Radiance and Shadows is Never Simple [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2210334
Kudos: 4





	That Which Remains Unsaid

There was a reason that Arielle hadn’t spoken a word of what happened. Any who asked received the same dull “I defeated Molag Bal and we ended the Planemeld,” and nothing more. It was anyone’s guess as to why the redhead wouldn’t talk to anyone about why she’d closed herself off, so said some. They were those who had not been there when the light burned everyone away. They were not there when the last thing Arielle saw was white light, when she came back from fighting the Daedric Prince of domination to find Dynar bleeding out on the floor with only Vanus and Gabrielle at his sides.

‘Where are they? Where is  _ he _ ?’ she had asked, all too aware of the absences. All too aware of those who had not returned. Who didn’t even have bodies for them to bury. Among them was Darien. She thought many things of the man, and his loss hurt her most of all. The knight had always been radiant in somber times, and now, after all they’d been through, he was gone.

It was wrong. All of it was wrong and horrible and she hated it with everything she had in her. That wouldn’t change as she continued to mourn all of their losses. So she withdrew. Lyris had once told her that eventually, you learn to live with your grief. With the pain still as fresh as it was, though, Arielle was not convinced.

That had not changed in the three years’ time that followed the end of the Planemeld.

It was not to say that she hadn’t returned to adventures, however. Eventually, impatience took her, and leaving a single letter for Gabrielle asking that the mage not tell the others where she’d gone, Arielle had left for the lands outside of High Rock, where she could do her best to forget about the adventures and drinks and laughter that she’d shared. Of course, it didn’t work, because every time she tried to speak the names of those she’d lost, her throat seemed to close up, and she choked on tears that hadn’t been there before. So she took to writing letters to Gabrielle about her adventures. Her progress was visible on the paper, in the way that the earliest few were splotchy from dried tears, in the way that the ink was sometimes smudged from Arielle’s frustrations with her own distress.

The most recent return offered her a solution. Perhaps, rather than writing them to her—to Gabrielle—she could write them to no one. Write out everything in her mind and then burn the paper so that no one else could see it. So that she would never be reminded of the pain that created them.

Even Arielle had to admit that it was worth a shot.

A bitter smile graced her lips as she remembered the journal she’d forgotten to return. Found in the rubble of a destroyed building in Camlorn on her way out. After she first met the men of the Gautier family, and helped them to retake their city. Theirs, for even if Arielle hadn’t known it then, it was just as much her ancestral home as  _ his _ .

A connection.

Arielle let out a tired sigh as she finally sat down at the desk in the corner of her room. Sure, she had an actual house she could’ve spent her time in, but she preferred to mull over her thoughts here, in this little inn room at The Rosy Lion, where she could hear the muffled interactions of the patrons below. A shake of her head, and she pulled herself back into reality.

“Gabrielle, I’m not sure what made you suggest this,” she muttered to herself, “but I sure hope it works.”

A few too many times of her long hair getting in the way of her trying to start writing, and she chose to pull it back and tie it back with a sturdy ribbon she kept for this very purpose. But it was out of her way now, and without distraction, she found herself pouring out her every thought.

_ Darien. I’m not entirely sure if you’re who Gabrielle meant for me to write this letter to. She said to write it as if it weren’t addressed to anyone. I can understand that. But she also told me to write out my thoughts. _

_ You did that once, remember? Alinon told you to write down your dreams in a journal. _

_ I still have it. I meant to give it back to you but never got the chance. Maybe we’ll find you and I can hand you the book and tease you about it. You’re strong, and a wonderful knight, but by the Divines, you are such a dumbass. There’s no need to share what you wrote with the guards, but when I return, I’m going to show Gabrielle. Then,  _ _ ~~if~~ _ _ when we find you, she can join me in teasing you over it. I haven’t shown her yet because I didn’t realize I had the book until I first arrived in Vvardenfell, but I will. I’m in Daggerfall now. The place that I first got word that Camlorn was under attack. I rode across near the whole of Glenumbra in a day to get there before the city was overtaken. I’m still sorry for putting my mare through it. Wherever you are, you better be damned grateful for my help in saving our city. _

_ Speaking of which. Gabrielle and I did some digging. I knew I was a hybrid—did you ever realize it? I doubt you did, but that’s why my eyes are a strange color and my ears are ever so pointed— _

Arielle stopped and stared at the page, before groaning. “What the absolute fuck, why am I writing this? I know Gabrielle said to write down my thoughts but I feel like this is just strange.”

She paused, then remembered the very journal that she’d mentioned. Darien did the same thing. She snorted, ignoring the prickling in her eyes, and got back to writing.

_ I think I just channeled you, Darien. So Damn you for that. Anyways, turns out I’m technically nobility. My mother might’ve died in childbirth—we knew that, I told you when you asked about my parents—but turns out that she was a member of the Baudelaire noble house. I’ve always had that as my surname. Never knew why, since Father never used a surname. An Altmer thing, I think. But I’m as much nobility as you are, albeit not the same sort of self-sacrificing knight. _

_ We went and met with my grandparents. Grandmother runs everything, and it’s funny whenever my cousins try to argue with her. They reminded me of you, though, so I had to leave. I’ll go back one day, I think, just not yet. But I’m in Daggerfall, so it could be worse. I’ve at least returned to High Rock. I’d say that I won’t return to Camlorn until we find you, but I think that’d be cruel to my family. My father raised me in Auridon, so they never really got to know me and I think they’re sad about it. _

_ Enough about that. I still don’t know what I’m doing. It’s been three years. Dynar was killed, but maybe you heard from wherever you are. I was there for his last words, which I’m grateful for. But it means that the Ayleids are officially extinct, sadly enough. I suppose that’s just how things are sometimes. People die. I wish I could ingrain it into my thoughts but no such luck. I still break whenever I hear your name, much less try to speak it. Pitiful, right? Yeah. I’m not sure what you’d say if you were here. _

_ Maybe you’d offer that drink again. I think I could use one, but I’m afraid of what I’ll do if I get drunk. So I don’t. No more than a glass at most, unless I’m with Gabrielle or Kaleen or Lambur. I appreciate them. I don’t know if I’d have survived the first month after we stopped the Planemeld without them. It was… rough. _

_ But that’s past. All of that is passed. It’s probably best that I look toward the future. I think I’ll pay a visit to Camlorn soon. We put up a memorial for you. I’ll drop off some bread and flowers. Maybe you wouldn’t care for the latter. I never did learn what you thought of flowers. If you hated them. If you had one you thought looked nice. So I bring the ones Gabrielle and I  _ ~~_ think you’d have liked _ ~~ _~~-~~ think you’d like to have for when you get back. _

_ As for my visit, I’m going to see Grandmother. I like her, and wish I’d known her before now. She could’ve taught me so much. In our last correspondence, she said that when I tire of my adventures and wish to return, she’ll teach me all she knows. While I’m nowhere near that point yet—I cannot stay in one place for very long anymore—I think I’m going to take her up on the offer one day.  _

_ After that, I think I’ll pay a visit to Father’s grave. This letter is getting very long, but I’m going to burn it after I finish so it doesn’t matter. I haven’t been to Auridon, to Summerset, since Father was killed. It’ll be strange to return. But I’m going regardless. I don’t know yet what waits for me there. As Kaleen puts it, I have a knack for attracting trouble. I think the others agree. But it’s fine. It feels nice to get everything off my chest. Surprisingly exhausting, though. It’s late. Perhaps I’ll dream of a better time, a better place. I’ll admit you have a place in my dreams. Keeps me from forgetting your voice as I forgot my father’s, though, so I can’t complain of it.  _ ~~_ I miss you. _ ~~ _ I miss everyone we lost. _

_ —Arielle Baudelaire _

The woman took a moment before she summoned a fireball to her hand. It was strange, having put everything into words like that. She wouldn’t be doing it again, though, she decided. It was too exhausting. Her eyes drooped and the fireball in her hand sputtered briefly, to which she huffed indignantly. Perhaps it was the time and not the baring her soul to the world that made her so tired.

Not that she really cared. As she’d written, she had plans to return to the Summerset Isles soon. A short wayshrine trip to Camlorn for a few days to see her family, and then she’d make the jump to Summerset. Whether she’d regret it, she couldn’t say, but her mind was made up by now.

Arielle gave up fighting her exhaustion after that, yawning before she set the paper she’d been writing on alight. The paper crumpled and blackened in her hands, leaving behind only ash and the stench of burning. Smoke was never a pleasant scent. She shook her head, cast a spell to rid the room of it, and made ready for sleep. There were long journeys ahead of her.


End file.
